“Now that you are reunited, as women do, you need to cry louder, laugh happily, hug and kiss – although, altogether your tears will be of crocodile, and your love, sugar-coated. Get back to your feet with your cunning and con us once again – this is what fate has subjected us to, a new form of punishment. Your own mother whipping you with barbed wire, scorpion and fire!”
By Kon Joseph Leek, FEB/19/2016, SSN;
As it always has been, and still is and forever will be, in most cases, in the societies where polygamy is yet a norm or religious provision especially in Islam and few African Christians that still believe in Genesis 1:28 which states that, “be fruitful and fill the earth and subdue it…..”, mountains of hatred and selfishness coated with hypocritical love among the co-wives is a common phenomenon.
The cause of that hatred is competition where the outcompeted hates the other and the presumed winner brags to the other (most women’s life style right!).
And the cause of that competition is the husband, and the cause of the problems involved still is the same husband – the person responsible of bringing two or more different ladies from completely diverse clans and backgrounds to share one thing- him, and his resources.
Choice too cannot be ruled out, choice of a husband, where one thinks even among his own children, one is taken to be better than the others for reasons known to a particular self, so is it to the husband to his wives where he would love one more than the other(s) either because she wakes him up with Aköp cЇ diong e miöu/muök or wakes him up with warm water to wash his face or simply that she is the latest he married (ayäp de thial pi3c(puͻc) kuany!
If you are a visitor, you would think that these co-wives love themselves to their bones but as always, a visitor and unintended eyes or ears are not meant to see or hear the secrets of others’ homestead, they (visitors and other unintended) would only see the sugar coated love which is a pure red-pepper on the inside, do you know water melon? Green and smooth from the outside and red on the inside isn’t it? Then, that is co-wives’.
But if you overstay, in fact beyond a visitor, and you have been hearing of a goat’s house then that is where you will practically see it. Practiced, not by goats but probably by goats in human images!
When a child of certain goat goes near the other you only hear the sound mi-ee-ee, then upper legs raised up and turrr, alas! Two short curved horns land on the head of an innocent hornless small goat prompting it to run away groaning – that is an automatic hatred and selfishness.
Just like a house of co-wives, if one is away, the one that remain mistreats the children of the others. And if they are together, you will see them seated in zones
All what we see is what we call love but hypocritical love, what we see is what we describe as laugh with smiles but inside, it is not, but a serious snarl, a complete blood-cuddling growls; all is a covered hatred, simply a sugar coated love – but a pure red-pepper on the inside!
There is a story of two wives (Atong’manti33l and Aluel’nyandekͻc) of certain Deng’gut’agͻk who had lived for years until certain time when Aluel felt sick and later died. Did she really die? She didn’t but only fainted. When Atong saw her co-wife dead and was confirmed by the others around, she threw herself down till the thud was heard at the neighborhood, rolled herself down from side to side carelessly like a naughty child without even taking care of her skirts hence confusing men around how to handle her, then lastly released a sound similar to that one of an ambulance.
‘What is going on in Gut’agͻk’s house?’ neighbor asked a passerby, ‘oh! My sister, it is Atong who is saddened by her co-wife’s death’
As Atong was being consoled outside by the group of women arise another miracle; Aluel has come back to life again! ‘Go and break the news to Atong that her co-wife has come back to life’, roared one elder to a young man.
As light as a feather, the young man disappeared at once and dropped the news to Atong in the presence of the others. Upon hearing this, out of her mind, Atong bit her lower lip with her upper teeth in anger, raised her hand up and carelessly boxed the ground with emotions, alas! She broke her right arm!
It was confirmed now that her cry was hypocritical but was surely laughing on the inside, love was as well sugar coated, and tears were crocodile tears. God has shown it.
Why would she box the ground with rage upon hearing someone coming back to life? The action has proven her cry a complete opposite of what she would have done! This is how far the co-wives love goes, but only in most cases.
Yes, in most cases. Need I to bring another story? No, I bet this enough for now. But remember, in most cases.
Does this only occur in social life? Look at it critically, does it? Can’t we see this in politics? Can’t we? If not then, why did mzee Tortich Arap Moi of Kenya want Uhuru Kenyatta to take over from him in 2002? Why did he utter the statement that, ‘when a person gives you food in a plate, after having eaten the food, do you brake the plate or you give the plate back to him who gave you the food?’ why did he asked that?
Why then, if selfishness is only seen in a traditional context, does a chief-of-staff for many years in Uganda, apart from current Katumba Wamala, a Muganda – in president Museveni’s regime come from Western Uganda and not other parts of Uganda?
Why then did President Kiir in the wake of crises in South Sudan suddenly become Museveni in doing something to chief-of-staff’s position?
The answer is simple, it is generally fear, fear that the unknown would unknowingly come and do the unknown to you, so you better guard yourself with the people you know most. The child of another woman cannot be like the child of your womb!
Just like Kiir for appointing Nhial Deng, a Bahr-Gazalian from former Warrap state like him as a government chief peace negotiator, why did Riek choose Taban Deng, a Nuerian from Bentiu like him as his peace negotiator in Addis Ababa? Please understand that? Just understand. It is very clear; co-wives philosophy of “child of my womb!”
Assuming Riek comes today, to what extent do you think he will trust himself with the incumbent? There will be always that fear, fear of if one goes out leaving his children with the other in the house and though Iddi Amin-Obote does not happen, there will be a fear of one’s children fearing the other thinking that they are left with a big goat and they are the small goats whose mother has moved out
Look, as it always is, that strife among the co-wives does not; in most cases negatively influence the relationship of the children. They always love to be called by the name of their father because their mothers may be different but one father. So, in order to be one, they have to be their father instead of selfish, hateful and heartless mothers joined by the nature to one person!
The same thing to the country, if Riek and Kiir are our mothers then South Sudan as a country is our father. As children of this nation, we are entangled to one common interest; developing it and making it great!
Choice of leadership should, to some point be our differences but can’t be the cause of violence. Differences are not too bad because they sharpen our thinking and reflect ourselves but violence only make us perish.
Do not follow individuals into violence for you are only graduating their mischievous interests or else you die for a zero course. Just live as a father of your children, husband of your wife and as a citizen who will develop this nation.
Please imagine yourself technically developing this country with your hands, just imagine; how do you feel? Great isn’t? Yes it is.
Look at this small poem about our leaders, citizen and country. I heard someone sometimes disputing the point that, ‘our leaders rob us when they unite and kill us when they disunite.’
To the best of my understanding, that so-called (let me borrow Michael Makuei’s word, so-called) that so-called top official was not critically thinking enough to dispel the reality, he did not want to think harder to get the point or else if he knew then he might have tactfully withdrawn the truth and started covering his face with a mask and began singing the riddle.
Do not tell us riddles, please Mr. leader, but notify us on truth, your citizens needs truths not lies.
Hear the voices of the inhabitants in the wilderness:
Once united, now divided
United by the call of nationalistic zeal, divided by individuals’ calls
United by their leaders, divided by the same
Divided into loyal(s) and disloyal(s)
Scattered in the wilderness like human dung
Swayed to the countryside like wastes
Never rested to enjoy their hard earned freedom but only exposed to dreadful life
My people, only should you meet your bright dreams that always seems enigma!
I have never wanted to be alone, and for this let me join the innocent South Sudanese in celebration of the unity of the leaders who seems to be dragging this country towards a Banana State.
We welcome your reunion but first, learn to be gentlemen enough this time by not making this country your ring of comparing your muscles of who has the bigger-than-whose muscles!… but developing it should have to be your main priority, developing it by first removing this hell of insecurity, I said security first then open free education to all….. And the rest will come alone. END
ay äp de thial pi3c/puͻcë kuany Thial; is a shell of an oval-shaped river snail. That snail has two shells from both sides; it uses them for protection that it cuts anything which touches it. It is that shell that is removed and kept in the ash for days to remove the presumed poison and later cleaned and used for eating. It is in fact a traditional spoon used in the past. If a person cleans his, it is that thial which he would want to eat with; you carry it to toch, to wut (kraal) or anywhere. It is yours, new and clean and the new one is always what you would want people to see. So, ay äp de thial pi3c/puͻcë kuany is literally translated as the love for a new thial, a metaphorical word of the ‘love for new things’ a traditional phrase.
Aköp cЇ diͻŋ e miöu/muök; is a South Sudanese local food like goats’ dropping but dry and small to the size of rice. Its difference with awalwala is in the cooking. Awalwala is wet when fully prepared because it is cooked with water and eaten with milk where as Aköp is fried and eaten with other sources. It is one of the staple foods just like awalwala to the Dinka, Nuer and Shilluk exception of awalwala to the shilluk.
Dinka calls it Aköp, Nuer calls it köp (they have a problem with [A] when a word starts with (a), and Shlluks calls it mongakel miöu/muök; is oil produced from cow’s milk, it is healthy and increases one’s gourmand or appetite, it is an energy giving food. It is mixed with aköp to make it too fine for eating. It is produced by many South Sudanese cattle keepers. So, the statement,’ aköp cЇ diͻŋ miöu/muök’ literally means,’ aköp that is mixed with miöu/muök.
The writer is a commentator on contemporary South Sudan, he can be reached on email@example.com